Seconds Away, Round Two

Wow guys, can you believe that's the first half of 2005 done? I can't. It's gone so quickly! On days like this an anxiety-bunny like me wants to ask the obvious questions:

• Did I get enough done in the first half of the year?
• Is there enough time left in the year to get plenty more done?
• If not, what am I doing blogging when there's so little time left?
• And most importantly, will this year's autumn fashion collections be more interesting than its summer ones?

I can't answer any of these questions. What I can tell you is, I've really enjoyed the year so far. There's plenty to be pleased about: I've met the lovely Fran¹; the launch of BullionVault has gone very well; I've sold my car, which both saves the environment² and my wallet; I've moved into zone 2, where all the hip kids live; I've meet some cool new cats and had some heart-to-heart moments with much of the old skool; and as I promised at the start of the year, I have become 18% more interesting. Groovy, huh?

So it's tempting to say It's All Good™. But is it? There have been a few things this year that have really gotten me down. Probably the worst of which is to do with James' latest album. He'd asked me to record some guitar tracks for it, which started I doing with all enthusiasm, but I have singularly failed to produce anything. I've proved spectacularly bad at recording what I believed I could compose and play. It's incredibly frustrating. A massive communication breakdown between imagination and microphone, and it makes me feel like a Muppet. An artistic failure. As a full-time geek who believes he has an artistic side, that really grates.

I've also had a lot of things on my mind of a more intellectual nature. Things I'd like to get clear in my head and write on this very blog, because I think it might stimulate debate and bear fruit. But again, despite my best intentions, nothing is taking shape. My best laid plans are ganging aglae, and it leaves me feeling more mouse than man.

So that's my summary of the year so far - fun, funny, romantic, eductional and fairly successful in worldly ways. I have met some very groovy new people, but I think I could have stepped up and made friends with a few more. Worst, it's been lacking in artistry and lacking in fruit³. There's lots to come, and I've got a few plans and surprises in the pipeline before '06 comes around, but as good as the year's been to me so far, I'm mostly frustrated at myself. :(

¹ Lots of times. Mostly in London. Not too surprising considering how long we've been together, but it's worth noting that she's been lovely a staggering 99.7% of the time.

² set > env.sh # Save the environment.

³ Sorry if that's a bit of a downer for a Friday. I'll try to post some gags⁴ before bedtime. :)

⁴ Newer readers should note that the Café never posts jokes, only gags. The difference is about 2 hours work per sentence.