Red Cross
A friend of mine's currently living in Darkest Peru, having been sent there by Her Majesty on a secret mission to spend the taxpayer's money. It sounds like he's doing fairly well, but is missing the common comforts of Blighty. Such problem I plan to salve1. I'm going to send him a red cross parcel. I probably won't actually paint the parcel white and put a red cross on it - I wouldn't want to be confused with a football supporter - but the spirit will remain.
Of course, the problem becomes, what does one send? The traditional fare would seem to be chocolate, cigarettes and silk stockings, but (i) it would melt en-route, (ii) he doesn't smoke, and (iii) he never waxes properly anyway.
So, I shall have to come up with some original ideas. At the moment I'm leaning towards a Burberry pith helmet and some bling for the "Modern Englishman Abroad" vibe. What do you think?
1 That's like solving, but more soothing.
Maybe I should send your Gran to him. She sounds like fun.![[grin]](/sites/all/modules/smileys/packs/jenkster/biggrin.gif "[grin]")
And with any luck the flags will now take care of themselves...
Quote of the holiday from our return to England was from my Gran:
"Look, there's that car again, the one with the flags on!"
I would think a nice flat cap would go down well, though.
Send him one of those stupid car-window-flag things.
No, send him ALL of those stupid car-window-flag things, so I can stop having to see them everywhere
Are Doctor Who DVDs getting through to the darkest parts of Peru?
Jaffa cakes, tea bags either typhoon or yorkshire teabags, rowntrees fruit pastilles, back copies of private eye and the new statesman, Terry's Chocolate Oranges these are a few of the things I missed when I lived in foreign climbs.
I also missed the cheapie wash in wash out hair dyes but I think the technology has reached darkest Peru now.
I shall bear that in mind.![[wink]](/sites/all/modules/smileys/packs/jenkster/wink.gif "[wink]")
Have you checked if this guy in Peru has got ready access to Slimline tonic? I hear that it can be difficult to get hold of.
It's true.
Kris goes for brunettes but stays for blondes.
I know you go for blondes. But you stay for brunettes.
Well, you know, I go for blondes - you know I do, I really do.
I think your theory is flawed. I think Bond really meant that Peru is a brunette, whereas in his mind Brazil is more of a redhead.
'Darkest' is both more poetic and more dramatic (I'd say).
And one doesn't always choose the word with the literal meaning.
Surely in that case he would have said, "Most Esoteric Peru"?
Personally I'd suggest he used 'dark' to mean 'obscure' or 'remote'. Dark to human knowledge, that sort of thing.
I see your reasoning, but doesn't it depend on what he meant by 'darkest'? You appear to be supporting the theory he meant, 'Peru, which is very dark'; but he might well have meant the darkest part of Peru - and Peru might be mostly light, with one mildly dark region, which, by extension, is darkest Peru. The use of title case in 'darkest' supports neither theory above the other.
Michael Bond, I believe.
Says who?
Are you sure? It's very dark.
Oh, wow. I'd love to go to Peru.
Post new comment