Christmas Meal: Barium

In which the author ought to apologise for his blog entries being 80% health-related these days.

Every few months the NHS calls me up and says, "Hey Kris! We just thought of a new way to look at your intestines! Are you free on Wednesday?"

This time they hit on a method fascinating to any comic book fan - they made me drink a liquid which makes it impossible for Superman to see the contents of my stomach, but possible for them to see the corners of my bowels.

Corners, it seems, are fascinating. So fascinating that they spent three hours taking photographs while I sat on a Wonkavator Chair.

(What's a Wonkavator Chair? Well, an ordinary chair just goes, "Sit down." But a Wonkavator Chair goes frontways & backways, upways & downways and anywhichways you can think of.)

Indeed, once again, I was inspected thoroughly. Conclusion?

"You see those two black blobs, Mr Jenkins?"
"Yes."
"They ought to be one black blob."
"Oh. What should I do about that?"
"Exactly what you're doing already, until February."
"Oh. I see."
"Yes, but the important thing is we're re-assured."
"Good-oh. Let me know when you've found another fascinating way to look at my colon, would you?"
"Of course!"

Long story, made short, made long. Medical science loves me. I always suspected it would...